Only a couple of weeks ago, I heard of another suicide. This time I didn't actually know the person - he was an ex-husband of a friend of mine. This troubled man drove to his ex-sister-in-law's business where his son also worked, made his own personal "scene" with the people he knew, walked to the parking lot, got in his car and proceeded to shoot himself in the heart in front of his son and his ex-sister-in-law. He died a few hours later in the hospital. The son is still not recovered.
What this bring to mind for me is the extreme differences in suicides. As someone who has "been there", tried that, I definitely know the kind of depression that it takes to get in the mindset. But I do not understand what would cause someone to act in a manner such as the fellow above. I chose to hide in a hotel room and not be anywhere near my loved ones - in fact that was my one fear, that one of my children would find me. I suppose that maybe some people's pain is not seen as a part of them self but as having been caused by someone else - something external. I don't know, suicide is a very self-centered act (in my opinion) and yes, I suppose everyone who tries or succeeds means to leave behind some sort of "message", but I really just don't get causing that much pain and life long damage to another person you have loved. Isn't the act itself doing that?
Is there some connection between self murder and violence to others for some of the suicides?
Maybe one of you, my yet to be heard from, readers can enlighten me?
Often, it seems, people who attempt/commit suicide do so for reasons not related to depression. There are several cases, that I am aware of, where the individual that attempts/commits suicide is doing so only to inflict never ending pain on another human being. There also seems to be a sense of lingering after the event, such as to be able to witness the torment that the suicide has inflicted on those left behind.
ReplyDeleteCasey, MA, LPC
Thank you Casey for the comment and insight. Do you believe that in the case cited above, the father wanted to survive long enough to see the pain his son would suffer? If so, this is one step beyond anything I have ever even heard of...and possibly brings the "self-centeredness" of the act to a whole new level (again in my humble opinion).
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if he wanted to survive long enough, but there seems to be an assumption of being gone but still being able to see what is going on after the suicidal act. I have found it in several of the suicide notes that I have read in my research.
ReplyDeleteCasey
I can tell u the boy will never recover. It has been 12 years that my dad did the same to me it tormite me all the time . why would he do that in front of me. It has brought me very close to killing my self many times was thinking about it tonight guess that is why i am on this site.
ReplyDelete