Catharsis

Well, as much as I looked forward to posting this blog and as excited as I was the day I did get it up, for now at least, the "thrill is gone". Ego perhaps? Possibly, since no one has made even a single comment to date. But I am thinking that it was something that I needed to do. Something that I needed to get to the other side of. A catharsis.

So, feel free to read if you choose, or not. Same goes for comments (though if any do appear I will most likely do the respectful thing and reply :) ) But, I may or may not be back...wow that sounds a little like a potential suicide note! LOL Irony? Haha. Nah, just me stating a fact so if you were hoping for more content here from me you won't be disappointed if I do choose to walk my path in a different direction.

Namaste cyber readers. I feel all the better for having written what I did and maybe it will help someone else - maybe you will learn how to best have your own catharsis. Trust me, they always leave you feeling lighter.

I'm thinking that I will pursue more up-lifting topics from here on out. I really am enjoying life too much to feel even one iota of sadness due to something that I meant to be creative.

Peace out. Stacey

Let's mix things up a bit

Change of mind on my part. I had said earlier that it wasn't so much about actual suicide notes as was about notes on suicides, but I believe I would like to re-think that, at least for the moment.

So, from my own experience I have written but one suicide note. I still have it stashed away and run across it from time to time - it is an odd feeling when I re-read it - believe me. It starts out written to whomever is the unlucky soul to have found me asking to have my ex contacted so that he can be the one to tell my children. I then leave little pages to my children, my father and some instructions for my ex as well. Being that I took 158 pills that night over a time frame of approx. 3 hours or so (that was how I read would be the most successful way to consume them), my handwriting clearly went downhill fairly rapidly. So much so that even I can't read the last 2 pages for the most part - maybe a word here and there. As I was in a hotel, this infamous document was drafted on a little notepad left in the hotel room with Holiday Inn Express' logo emblazoned on each page - classy, eh? I sit here and I shake my head as I type this and recall that evening. Truly, what was I thinking? More to the point, why wasn't I thinking straight?

There has yet to be any comments left and I have not received a single email. Possibly this isn't as interesting topic as I had thought? Or possibly, it is just too disturbing for people to write/share their experiences? I wonder.